Beer-aeth

    I’ll never forget the first time I saw The Hope, but there were no external indications that the place might become one of my favourite pubs of all time. It’s found on quite a busy road on the outskirts of the delightful Carshalton village, with a narrow strip of pavement in front, meaning you never see the building from the frontal aspect. It’s mostly red brick, and perhaps even a little bit nondescript. There was one clue as to its general excellentness outside though: an enormous number of empty casks, stacked and ready for collection. It’s not a smoking gun of course. It could be that the clientele just really fucking like D**mb*r. Once inside I warmed to the hostelry, based purely at this stage on the ale selection. There were four keg taps for the more exotic pale ales (usually Verdant, Drop Project, DEYA etc.), four further keg taps that contained some very decent imported lager and some atrocious cider ( de rigueur ), followed by two more keg taps for sours. I ...

  Rule 97. Don't be a note-fold-cock I'm certain that you will be tumescent with excitement to hear that I have been to several more pubs. Further reviews are on their way, along with my much ruminate upon treatise on cider and a thorough critique on the ephemera that coalesce to create the perfect pub. In the meantime, these visits have given me even deeper insight into the rules of the pub. Waving a tenner at the bartender will not get you served any quicker. It's not the first time they've seen one. Other people have them. You just look like a tit. 11.  Don't underestimate the importance of the correct level and hue of lighting. Electric light should be used sparingly. People who are drinking together don't necessarily want to see each other clearly. 12. Never, ever, ever, ever, fucking ever, demand payment for a drink before you have begun pouring it. That's what Wetherspoons do. 13. None of those oversized stupid keg taps. Guinness tend to be the worst ...